I remember it as clear as day, or maybe I don’t. Brain Fog. I don’t recall having it when I was younger. Maybe it happened when I was 20, or maybe not? I felt foggy through my first marriage. It wasn’t just the fog, but the memory loss. What was wrong with me? Do I need to get rid of gluten? Do I need more iron in my diet? What is causing the “fog”? I couldn’t find the answer after plundering health, fitness and physiology resources. It had to be something causing it, but what? My ex-husband used this to his advantage to undermine me at every turn. “I didn’t say that, you’re imagining it” he would often say when I would query him about a text or an email to someone I didn’t know, someone he was secretly chatting with during our 14 years together.
“Maybe you’re going crazy.”
“Maybe I am”.. slowly… I would repeat to myself… “it must be in my head, it must be in my head”… until it wasn’t and the cat was out of the bag and I was left homeless with divorce papers.
Unfortunately, the brain fog didn’t leave me like the marriage, and I was still left with gaps in my memory, the inability to concentrate for long periods of time and the general feeling that I might not be able to do work as I once did because I couldn’t remember things.
Have you ever left home, got in your car and showed up to work, and really have no recollection of how you got there? Have you ever had a conversation with someone and you try to focus on what they are saying but really you are worrying about all the fears in your head and you have no idea what they said? Do you try to take a test and a wave of anxiety washes over you and you literally blank out? Are you having an argument with your spouse and you forget what you are fighting about because you are so stressed? Welcome to full autopilot mode. Like most people, I was living a completely unconscious life.
Seemingly small amounts of unconsciousness like spacing out in front of a TV, in a car, in front of our phones, with our kids or our friends seem harmless, but what it’s really doing is allowing our brain to gather momentum in autopilot mode. The more unconscious we become, the more our brain switches to that mode. While autopilot is a great way for our minds to shut down and try to dissociate it’s self from the stress happening in a particular situation it does lead to problems if left unchecked. When we continually have stress and feel overwhelmed the cortisol takes over our body and we are in constant flight or fight mode. This stress leads our brains to go into shutdown mode, or brain fog. The more it learns to shut down with stress, the more it shuts down. So how do we stop it from always going into fog mode? Is it serious, or not something to worry about?
“See the heinous cruelty and the suffering on an unimaginable scale that humans have inflicted and continue to inflict on each other as well as on other lifeforms on this planet…That is unconsciousness.” – Eckhart Tolle
What we know now is it is a serious problem. Our group unconsciousness is taking over the planet. We no longer respect human life, or life in general. Our minds are disconnected from our Being, and we are destroying ourselves and our planet.
It wasn’t until recently when I discovered how to really meditate did I learn where my brain fog point of origin was. It isn’t a physical defect, it isn’t emotional, it isn’t about what you eat, how much you sleep, our how much stress is in your life. What brain fog really comes down to is how present you are in your own thoughts. My own trial and error led me to this realization, the cause of brain fog in my life. When you are fully conscious in every moment, you don’t feel the emotional pain from the past, or the anxiety from the future, you are focused on the now. You are not reacting to the pre-programmed responses that your brain has made, instead your brain is doing it’s job, keeping you from repeating your mistakes, keeping you safe but not running the show. Your Being is running the show. So be conscious, be well, and Being.